23 October 2006

Inane Song Lyrics (First in a Series) (Maybe)

I heard a song yesterday of which the lyrics were just plain silly. It brought to mind a number of other songs which include silly lyrics.

Intergalactic (Beastie Boys)

The Beasties go cannibal...

"If you try to knock me you'll get mocked
I'll stir fry you in my wok"


GirlBoy (Magic Dirt)

Lunchtime snack rules the world!...

"Makes me feel cool when I'm in control
Of the power you dish out like a salad roll"

(this line is preceded by “Makes me feel cool when I say your name, Especially now when I masturbate”)



On The Radio (Regina Spektor)

She rhymes Bees! With Knees! Original!...

"A million ancient bees
Began to sting our knees
While we were on our knees
Praying that disease
Would leave the ones we love
And never come again"


There are, of course, many, many others. Serial offenders include the likes of Gwen Stefani, Shakira et al. This may just become a regular series. If, indeed, this becomes a regular blog.


Keeping Bloggers Regular Since 2006

26 June 2006

Spice Up My Life

This weekend I had the pleasure of watching Spiceworld - the Spice Girl's Movie. I first saw the film a number of years ago with my young (female) cousins who knew all the words to the entire film, soundtrack and all the dancemoves. The next time I saw the film was at a girly sleepover movie night when we watched other girly classics like Dirty Dancing and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. It had been a number of years since I'd viewed Spiceworld, and I'd almost forgotten just how good it is.

Before seeing their film I wasn't a fan of the Spice Girls . I thought they were the worst example of a contemptuous music industry grinding out manufactured nonsense for what they thought the market would consume. I first watched the movie against my will, when it was the only way to keep my young cousins quiet one night when I was babysitting them. The antics of these young girls, singing and dancing along to the ridiculous movie won me over.

Spiceworld really is a ridiculous movie, and it changed my opinon of the Spice Girls. The film is a pisstake, a parody of the highest degree with the Girls mercilessly taking the piss out of themselves, their music, their industry, their peers, the film trade, and their lives in general. Essentially the film covers a few days in the lives of the Spice Girls at the height of their fame, with the Girls playing themselves and thus perhaps not having to act too much. Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, does a particularly good job of taking the piss out of her character. There are A-list cameos from the likes of Elton John, Roger Moore, Jennifer Saunders, Bob Geldof, Meatloaf and Barry Humphries and apparently much of the film was ad-libbed. It is camp, it is silly and it is so nice to see performers who don't take themselves or their careers too seriously.

Spiceworld was produced nearly ten years ago but thanks to the ridiculous costumes and the soundtrack (like it or not many Spice Girls tracks are now considered pop classics) the film has aged particularly well. It was also interesting to note that Scary Spice (Mel B) is totally HOT! How did I not notice this before?? All in all Spiceworld is a top film - funny, silly and surprisingly entertaining.

01 May 2006

Spam

I am not a fan of Spam (either kind) and will usually go to great* lengths to avoid it. However this little gem arrived last week which just couldn't go unnoticed...

----- Original Message -----
From: Jean

Sent: Thursday, April 27, 2006 8:29 PM
Subject: Quicker Recharges
Hello!
I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here (http://dodgywebaddress.com**) are bad.
Look, the site and call me 1-800 if its wrong..
My dog and I are still alive :)

Gold, no?

Meat in a can!
* or, you know, regular lengths.
** not a real web address, so don't bother

13 April 2006

Sam Newman is a Knob

Last night I had the displeasure of catching about twenty minutes of The Footy Show (AFL version). I have watched this show sporadically in the past but hadn't seen it for a few years and this of course was my first experience of the new Eddie-less incarnation. I can't say I particularly like new hosts Gary Lyon or John Thwaites James Brayshaw but it's that tool Sam Newman who really gets my goat*.

It's common knowledge that Sam Newman is a tosser but I found watching him last night to be so totally and utterly offensive that I would liked to have hurt him. I am not a violent person but I wouldn't mind giving him a smack in the kisser. Within ninety seconds he had managed to demean gays (three times), the mentally disabled, women and the entire population of Sydney. His sleazy, dirty old man act is just plain creepy and he doesn't seem to realise just how pathetic he is.

I rarely let such trivialities offend me but the degree of this man's homophobia, sexism and general stupidity has hit a nerve. I cannot believe that Channel Nine allows this sort of behaviour from its 'personalities' and I can't believe the stupidity of the Australian viewing public for allowing him to get away with it for so long. I guess appealing to the lowest common denominator really does pay.

Would someone please punch him in the nutsack. Now. Ta.




* I don't really have a goat but if I did I wouldn't be letting Sam bloody Newman anywhere near it.




12 April 2006

Home is where the Shelter Shed is

I'm back.

Look at you now! My how you've grown! etc etc

A lady never offers excuses and neither shall I.

So did you miss me?

...Yeah, thought so...